


Ink Theories

by kams_log



Series: Angels & Demons 'verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angel Castiel, Angels, Demon Dean, Demons, Florist Dean, Fluff, Human Sam, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Emotional Scarring, M/M, Medical Student Castiel (past), Reads like an A/B/O, Tattoo Artist Castiel, Tattoo Kink, Tattooed Castiel, medical discussions, science talk, world building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 13:49:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4708241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kams_log/pseuds/kams_log
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re thinking too hard again,” Castiel mumbled after a moment, flicking away pencil shavings before he reached over for a new utensil. “You’re quiet.”</p>
<p>Dean hummed in response, hooking his chin over Cas’s shoulder so he could watch him work.</p>
<p>The new design was beautiful. It was supposed to be an entire back piece for Dean. He’d always liked the idea of wings, being able to fly away wherever he wanted. Damn his fear of heights. Dean thought it’d be cool on his terms. Also, wings now reminded him of Cas.</p>
<p>Dean shrugged and looked around Cas’s back studio, the relatively small office of Cas’s Enochian Parlor. “I don’t know,” he replied honestly. “Thinkin’ about your work.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ink Theories

**Author's Note:**

> this was mostly written so i could do more world building in this universe. i hope you like it!
> 
> also note: i'm not a science or medical genius, but this is my world so it's my rules. that is all.
> 
> again, please enjoy~!

Dean grinned and ran his fingers over the tattoos on his boyfriend’s sides, ignoring the huff of breath it earned him as Castiel continued to bend over his sketchbook.

“If you’re trying to help me work faster, I’m sorry to say you are not,” Cas grumbled, furiously scribbling away his new design.

Dean shrugged and pressed his forehead against the base of Castiel’s shoulder, smile growing as he continued to ruck up Cas’s shirt. “I dunno,’” Dean mumbled. “I’ve got a nice view to keep me waiting.”

He didn’t need to see it to know Cas was rolling his eyes.

But it was still true. Cas had some damn good tattoos. The ones on his sides were Dean’s favorite. On his right Castiel had falling stars and galaxies painted to his skin, rippling with his muscles as though they were always moving, growing, contracting, changing. Just as space and galaxies should. On his left was Enochian warding, something he said was more for show than actual use. It was said that Enochian held a certain element of power in it’s words, like magic in the olden days. The Enochian on Castiel’s side was meant to keep his location hidden from other angels. Why he’d be tracked, neither of them had a clue. But it was a sentiment, Cas said. A statement about how he felt.

Dean traced his fingers over the letterings, smirking when he felt Cas shudder in his breathing.

“What’s it sound like?” Dean whispered, kissing his neck to draw his lover’s attention. “When you say it out loud?”

“You’ve heard it in bed, Dean.”

“Say it.”

“I’m working.”

Dean grumbled and traced his fingers over the lettering once more, his eyes drifting up to the same Enochian on Cas’s arm.

That one Dean knew personally. Cas said it was a poem told to young angels to inspire them to greatness. Dean had no idea until Charlie told him about it. Angels and demons had separate high school classes from the humans, supposedly to help them cope with their new species and class. But really, it was just to try and bloom hatred and bias toward anyone who was different.

Dean never bought that bullshit. At least at first. His early teenage years were difficult, but he was happy to say he’d grown out of it. Even if it took him till he was in his early twenties.

The poem was about a fallen man, how people were condemned to failure and despair. The idea was that angels were above mankind, were better because they had the power to save or leave others behind. It was supposed to be a nice story, of how angels decided to save mankind anyway, despite their foolishness.

Castiel changed the poem. He said it was passively aggressive. In the new poem, it was about how a Righteous Man was condemned falsely, even though he was good, and how even though he was rescued, it was not because it the angel’s thought it would be merciful, but because it was right.

Dean wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He traced his fingers over Cas’s arm, over the poem and up to his bared shoulder--thank God for tank tops--and ran his hand over the swirl of wings and vines. In the mess of it was a carefully hidden design of the name _Milton_ , after Castiel’s sister, and her wife.

Dean didn’t know them well. But Anna’s wife, Ruby, used to come into his shop. Even after their deaths, he liked to make their favorite flowers. In the past six months he and Cas had been dating, they had taken those same flowers to their grave sights. It was their gift to them. Strange, because in some horrible, awful way, it had brought him and Cas together.

It was just one more thing that Dean wasn’t sure how to feel about.

“You’re thinking too hard again,” Castiel mumbled after a moment, flicking away pencil shavings before he reached over for a new utensil. “You’re quiet.”

Dean hummed in response, hooking his chin over Cas’s shoulder so he could watch him work.

The new design was beautiful. It was supposed to be an entire back piece for Dean. He’d always liked the idea of wings, being able to fly away wherever he wanted. Damn his fear of heights. Dean thought it’d be cool on his terms. Also, wings now reminded him of Cas.

Everywhere he went, he would see an angel and think of Cas. He’d think of his wings, his subtle halo glinting in the darkness when they were curled up in bed. He was reminded of the markings on his boyfriend’s back, the tell-tale base of Cas’s wings.

Dean liked to trace the outlines with his fingers. It was always the quickest way to get Cas horny, Dean had learned.

The only reason he wasn’t using that to his advantage now was because he actually wanted Cas to finish his work. He could be difficult all he wanted. But he still cared about Cas being able to accomplish the things he cared about.

So until then, he could only play lightly.

“What are you thinking about?” Castiel asked, breaking the silence once more.

Dean shrugged and looked around Cas’s back studio, the relatively small office of Cas’s _Enochian Parlor_. “I don’t know,” he replied honestly. “Thinkin’ about your work.”

“It is what it is,” Cas grunted. Dean glanced back down and stared at the wings on the page. “Do you like it?”

“I love it,” Dean grinned. “Love it just as much as you.”

“Flattery doesn’t work on me.”

“But it’s still true.”

Castiel’s pen stilled and he sighed, glancing back at Dean skeptically. Dean was caught off guard by Cas’s seriousness.

Most people thought Cas was a brooding angel. That he just didn’t like to talk, took everything and everyone too seriously for his own good. But Dean knew better. Cas was usually light hearted. He smiled often, and even though his humor was odd, he was never slow to execute it.

Seeing Cas’s seriousness directed at _him_ was unnerving. To make matters worse, Cas had been doing it for a few weeks now.

“Okay, I give. What are _you_ thinking?” Dean sighed, sitting back in contemplation. “Clearly you’ve got something on your mind.”

“I was wondering about your current tattoo,” Castiel said, catching Dean off guard once more. “It’s like my warding spell, but… Dean. Yours is about anti-possession. Can’t that be harmful since you’re, in fact, a demon?”

Dean glanced down at his chest. His star tattoo was hidden beneath two layers of clothing, but he could envision it in his mind as though he were naked.

He shrugged and scratched at it absently.

“I got it before I transitioned,” Dean explained. “It was just me and a bunch of friends being stupid.”

“How old were you?” Castiel asked, turning back to his work to add in a few additions. “When you transitioned?”

“I don’t know. Fifteen? Somewhere around that time. All I remember was it happened in the middle of the school year after most of my other friends transitioned. Everyone thought I was going to just stay human, since I was so late.” He leaned forward and leaned his head on Castiel’s shoulder again. “What about you? When did you transition?”

“The usual age. I was thirteen.”

Dean grunted in understanding. All was silent for another few minutes; the only sound filling the air was Cas’s pen scratching against the sketchbook.

Dean was grateful it was Cas’s day off. Usually Cas would be booked, constantly moving and working forever until he’d eventually finish for the day and crash in bed, or Dean’s arms. Dean liked the latter. But even Cas got his breaks, and Dean felt blessed to share them with him.

“So, you were fifteen?” Cas asked after several minutes. Dean groaned and narrowed his gaze at him.

“You’re still thinking about that?”

He watched Cas’s jaw flex, saw him set his pen down. Cas turned and looked at Dean directly. Dean didn’t like the expression he wore.

“I just find it… strange. It’s unusual for anyone to transition that late, especially after an entire family history of always being human. Do you know what the odds are against that?”

“Sam was supposed to be an angel,” Dean retorted.

“Exactly. Don’t you think it’s strange you both would suddenly transition? Sam meant to be an angel, you a demon? It’s one thing to have the first transition in a family history. It’s another to have two, especially two children who transition in an opposite pair.”

“Why does it have to matter?” Dean snapped. “I’m a demon. Sam’s human. You’re an angel. It is what it is. Why does it bother you so much?”

Cas’s eyebrow twitched. Dean knew that look. It was the same look he gave when Dean asked him to help with Sam’s wedding. Dean had promised it’d be easy. That was the look Cas had when he walked into the room to find nearly a hundred flower deliveries out of order in the backrooms. It was the look that said, “You’re lying to me, and this isn’t going to be the last you’ll hear of it.”

Dean started to growl, angry that Cas would suggest such a thing to him now, but Castiel shook his head and turned back to his sketchbook.

“It doesn’t bother me,” Cas grunted, a lie. Dean glared at his back and said nothing.

Cas kept working on the sketch. Neither of them talked about the subject again.

…

Dean still found himself thinking about it three weeks later. The subject had dropped, mostly. Cas had tried asking about it again several days after the first talk, but it ended badly. They came to an unspoken agreement that it was a bad topic for them.

But Dean didn’t understand why. He didn’t get why it was so important. Who cared when Dean transitioned? Or the family history behind it?

Was Cas right about it being weird? Absolutely. Dean wasn’t an idiot. He knew he was already a freak as it was. Families who were human for centuries didn’t suddenly change for no reason.

Some people thought people transitioned based on chemical reactions in the brain. That they just thought differently, and it effected the rest of their body to follow in the same way. Other people assumed it was a natural reflex against situations people had lived through, or based on a person’s moral complex. For instance, if someone reacted with an extremely high moral complex, they must be an angel. If a medium and flexible complex, they were probably in the human range. Low morals? Definitely a demon.

But that didn’t make sense to Dean. It was biased, and only made everyone hate each other. Dean knew for a fact that some angels had terrible morals, and some humans had very high morals. Even some demons refused to cave to the stereotype, and held true to their characters with incredible power.

Nobody really knew the true answer. It was something doctors had been arguing about and debating for centuries. The last Dean heard, they were narrowing their search to chemical reactions based off of how people react to situations.

And then there was Cas, who was placing way too much interest in Dean’s past history and why he was a demon. Dean didn’t get it. Was Cas mad that Dean wasn’t human? Did he think Dean was purposefully hiding his transition? Dean didn’t even _know_ why he transitioned. He was supposed to be human. He wasn’t concerned when nothing happened when he was thirteen. He wasn’t concerned for the following years either.

Everyone before him had always been human. Why should he be any different? But then shit happened, and he was fifteen years old, and he woke up one day to a splitting migraine and flickering black eyes that he couldn’t control for the life of him.

It was hell, and he didn’t get over it for a year. Then after that, he was just bitter. He should have been human. He should have. His entire life was thrown on it’s head because everyone treated him different. He wasn’t _normal_ , like he was supposed to be. What was worse, he was a teenage boy in puberty, his life completely inverted, and he had no one to blame for it.

It just _was_. What was he supposed to do?

It was in the past now. There was nothing anybody could do then, or now.

So why the hell did Cas have to drag it out again?

He waited three weeks before he brought it up again, carefully going over everything he wanted to ask and say. He didn’t want to get in a fight with Cas. Nothing was ever worth getting in a fight with him. But Dean couldn’t take the stress of not knowing. He needed to understand why it mattered to Cas.

They’d been dating for six months now. Dean figured they at least owed it to each other to get this out in the air.

“Hey Cas?” Dean asked. It was a Sunday. They were sitting in the living room of Cas’s house, Cas reading a book while Dean rested his feet in his boyfriend’s lap. Things had been peaceful between them for a while. Dean didn’t want to break it now, but if he didn’t say anything, he figured he never would.

“Yes, Dean?” Cas glanced up at him, offering him a smile.

Dean looked away and stared at his feet.

“I was wondering about that thing you asked me, at the beginning of the month.”

Cas’s smile faltered, but it didn’t go away entirely. He closed his book and set it aside on the coffee stand. He turned and angled his body to face Dean, drawing up his body further onto the couch so their legs were tangled together.

“You’re referring to our talk about transitioning,” Castiel said slowly, clarifying.

Dean nodded. “I just… I don’t understand why it’s so important to you. It’s just a part of life, isn’t it?”

Castiel shook his head and looked down at Dean’s feet, still resting in his lap. He brought up his hands and rested them on Dean’s legs, gently rubbing at his exposed skin. He was stalling, but Dean didn’t care. The contact was nice, and it made him feel less like Cas didn’t want him because he was a demon.

“Is it because I’m a demon?” He asked softly, unable to help himself.

Castiel’s gaze snapped up to his, eyes wide and surprised. “Of course not!” He exclaimed. “Dean, your species doesn’t matter to me. I’d love you no matter what you were.”

“Oh.” _Well that was intelligent, Winchester_ , Dean thought bitterly. But Cas’s gaze was soft. His hands continued working over Dean’s calves, calming him slowly with each touch and caress.

“I... “ Cas started after a long moment, eyes glancing to meet Dean’s and away again. “I wasn’t always a tattoo artist, Dean.”

“Really?” Dean asked. He leaned forward, humming when Cas squeezed just above his ankle. “W-What did you used to do?”

“I was in medical school,” Cas said. Dean’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

“Like, to be a doctor?”

Castiel nodded seriously. Dean stared at him as he explained, “It was mostly my parents’ idea. All of their children are angels, and they believe in the old ways that angels must always be the best. Many of my siblings are doctors and lawyers, some politicians. So they raised me to go into one of my older brother’s lines of work.”

“Clearly that worked out,” Dean huffed.

Castiel shook his head and frowned. “I was kicked out,” he replied, making Dean hesitate. “I’d always been intent on learning about the process of transitioning, how and why people became something different when they hit puberty. But my conclusions were considered radical and unfounded, so they told me to either drop my research and look into something else, or get out of their school.”

“So you left,” Dean mumbled. Cas nodded again and turned his gaze back to Dean’s legs. “Why?”

“Because I believed I was right,” Cas stated. “I had the research, but nobody wanted to believe that their children were transitioning because of emotional breaks.”

“Wait, what do you mean?” Dean sat up straight and touched Cas’s arm, forcing his boyfriend to look at him. “I thought it was genetics?”

Castiel nodded.

“It is,” he explained, only causing Dean more confusion. “Let me explain. There are genetics that will manipulate how children will grow and transition in life. That much is obvious. Where those genetics come from, some will argue evolution or creationism. What matters is that, yes, it’s there. But there are cases of children who transition with no obvious genetical pattern.”

“Like me and Sam,” Dean echoed.

Castiel nodded and rested his hands on the soles of Dean’s feet. He pressed his fingers and rolled the muscles, making Dean groan as he continued, “So yes, doctors are right that children transition because of genetics and internal coding. But there haven’t been nearly enough studies on the children who transition without that influence. From the research I was able to come up with, children like that were transitioning through outside influences.”

Outside influences. _Oh_ , Dean thought, suddenly beginning to understand.

Cas still spoke. “I learned that many children transitioning through outside influences were doing so because of a number of reasons. Either one, they were transitioning due to chemical reactions and how they responded to situations they were presented during puberty. Two, they were transitioning because of emotional breaks with reality, transitioning depending on how quickly they recovered. Chemical reactions also applied to it, but it didn’t change the fact that the second form of transition was often due to extremely stressful situations kids could not cope with.”

“I-Is there a third?” Dean asked, biting his tongue when Cas hit a sweet spot in the center of his foot. He wondered if Cas could hear his heart beating. He wondered if Cas knew what he was doing, distracting and grounding Dean with the physical touch so he wouldn’t panic and run the closer Cas got to the possible truth.

“There was,” Cas nodded, eyes locking with his. “But it was more physical. Such as being injected with large amounts of demonic or angelic blood. It’s long been believed that it could influence how a child might transition later in life, but it’s always been proven to be a dangerous risk and harm to the subject.”

“Sam,” Dean realized.

“He speaks publically about what happened to him,” Cas nodded. “He should have transitioned to an angel, but was held back because he was injected with demon blood as a child.”

“But wait, isn’t it still weird that he should have transitioned to an angel? After a family history of all humans?”

Cas shrugged. “It depends. How was it discovered that Sam should have transitioned to an angel?”

“He got really sick when puberty hit. Coughing up blood. Really sick. We took him to the doctor and they said his body was trying to transition, but the demon blood was overriding it and damaging his body. He had to get a lot of work done until he was mostly healthy again.”

“So he already had the coding that would have helped him transition. When children transition right at puberty, it’s a sign that the coding was already in place and waiting to develop.”

“So he was just one of the rare kids. Nothing to extreme.”

“Well, demon blood in an angel body is extreme, Dean.”

“You know what I meant.”

Cas smiled and moved to working on Dean’s second foot. Dean hummed and leaned his head against the sofa.

“So what?” He asked, finally getting his thoughts back together. “Are you just worried about me because my transition was bad?”

Castiel nodded and continued staring at Dean’s feet as he worked.

“I was concerned because transitions like that can be damaging throughout life. I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“I’ve got a clean bill of health,” Dean replied. “Nothin’ to worry about Cas.”

Castiel didn’t reply for a moment. His silence was worrying.

“Cas?”

His boyfriend looked up at him. His eyes were soft in that way that suggested he really was worried. Dean’s eyes narrowed and he leaned forward. He took Cas’s hands away from their work and pulled Cas close until they sat side by side, their shoulders and hips flushed together.

“Hey, you do realize I’m fine, right?”

“I wasn’t talking about physical health,” Cas explained. “Transitions that happen outside of original genetics are always because of extreme emotional stressors that affect people throughout their life. When I first learned about your transition, I was concerned about your emotional health.”

Dean stared at him for a long moment. Cas stared back. Dean hated it. He hated how _honest_ and _sincere_ Cas looked right then. It was like nothing mattered more to Cas in that moment than Dean’s emotional health

But Dean didn’t get it. He could only think of one thing that could possibly be it, but he’d rather not think about it. He’d spent years forgetting it, ignoring it. It was necessary. He was already stuck in hell with his life turned on it’s head. He had to deal with teachers who used to like him, suddenly hating him now that his eyes were black. He had to deal with his father not looking at him the same anymore. He had to deal with his little brother asking why Dean had black eyes when they used to be green. He had to deal with the insults and the verbal abuse every day at school.

He didn’t have time to deal with his stupid friends, and all the times he got in to trouble leading up to his transition. He didn’t have time to think about the mistakes they made or the consequences or--

His back stiffened as he made up his mind. He raised a hand and touched it to Castiel’s cheek, forcing up the most meaningful, genuine smile he possibly could.

“I’m alright,” Dean promised. “Really, I’m fine. I was a dumb kid who got into stupid shenanigans in school, and things happened and I lived with them. But trust me, I coped just fine. I’m not perfect, but I think I’ve been handling my life pretty well. Even better now with you. Do you believe me?”

Cas stared at him, their eyes locked for several long moments before a smile spread across his boyfriend’s face. Castiel’s hand lifted up and pressed itself over Dean’s.

“I do,” he replied. “You know how much I love you, right Dean?”

“Yeah,” Dean grinned. He kissed Cas gently, not minding at all when Cas pulled him forward so they were both lying on the couch, giggling and kissing like love struck teenagers.

It wasn’t until they were both lying in bed later that night when Dean had a moment to reflect on everything he’d learned, everything Cas had said.

It was only after an incredible round of sex that Cas had reassured him that even though Cas had lost his medical degree, he still loved his work as a tattoo artist, that nothing would replace how much he loved his job and loved Dean the way they were now.

But as Cas slept, snoring like the angel he was, Dean stared at him in the darkness and considered what he’d said.

Emotional damage. Huh. Dean flicked his eyes from black to green and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

Cas said he believed what Dean said. But Dean wondered if he believed himself.

He fell asleep, refusing to think about it again.

What mattered most was that Cas believed in him. If Cas believed, Dean could learn to as well.

**Author's Note:**

> me: lovefromdean.tumblr.com
> 
> to summarize (medically):
> 
> sam had a rare genetic coding that would have allowed him to transition to an angel despite his human ancestry (but the demon blood challenged it and caused severe medical issues that had to be fixed, keeping sam human for the rest of his life.)
> 
> dean had no rare genetic coding to transition him, so he should have stayed human. however, there was an outside influence that forced his body into a stress induced chemical reaction, making him transition into a demon. what that outside influence was is uncertain and unexplained.
> 
> castiel has an angelic family history and transitioned like most of the population did, when he hit puberty at thirteen.
> 
> if you have any further questions, please let me know! thank you!!


End file.
